


Expressions

by Lizzie Morewolfe (Poiemaether210)



Series: Jigsaw [1]
Category: Pitch Perfect (2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-01-15
Packaged: 2017-11-25 15:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poiemaether210/pseuds/Lizzie%20Morewolfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are some expressions that we use so much that they begin to mean nothing to us. Sometime, however, these words, these ordinary everyday phrases, mean and promise so much more than we ever expect of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Good Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six instances when it meant something more

**BECA, The Day After Aca-Initiation Night**

It is a known and undisputed fact that Beca Mitchell was not a morning person. Even when she was just a two year old, she would put up the biggest fuss at being woken up early. This was why today was nothing short of a miracle.

At 8:00 AM – that's right, 8 o 'clock in the morning- Beca's alarm rang. Now, under normal circumstances, she would never set her alarm for anything earlier than 9:30 and, considering the fact that yesterday was Hood Night and that she was half-drunk when she collapsed onto her bed at 3 AM this morning, setting her alarm for anything earlier than noon was positively suicidal and out of the question. However, Luke had asked- well, commanded, really- her and Jesse to "mind the station" for most of the day since his parents were visiting from Essex for the weekend. And well, the shift began at 8:30 so she had absolutely no choice but to be up at 8:00.

It wasn't the 8:00 wake-up call, though, that made this morning a very unusual – aka downright shocking- one. No, it was the fact that, even though she only had five hours of sleep and was suffering from a minor hangover, she woke up with a smile on her face.

This one in a million occurrence could not be attributed to a what, but rather, is the direct result of a who, more specifically, a certain dorky, goofy brunet that had the most incredible singing voice- not that she was ever gonna tell him that. His ego was big enough as is.

Last night had been a night of revelation, so to speak. Sure, his first few words, though spoken in a somewhat drunken state, shook her; but slowly, as the night wore on, his honest ramblings and unintentional revelations softened her animosity towards him. Okay, maybe animosity was a harsh word. It wasn't that she hated his guts; it's just that she's not really fond of forming relationships whether they be friendships or more serious ones- life had taught her that. After the divorce, she and her mother moved from place to place, never really settling anywhere and she had learned not to get too attached to people. That is, until last night. Their conversation struck a chord in her and made a few teeny tiny cracks on her walls.

_"My parents, my mom especially, were pretty much worried that I wasn't gonna find friends here. I have weird interests, you know? Movies and chorale singing? Not exactly normal friend material. It's really good then that you're my friend Beca Mitchell. I'm really glad I met you." Jesse emphasizes his statement with a huge goofy grin that somehow lights up his countenance and Beca can't help but give a less abrasive response than she wants to._

_"What makes you think we're friends?" She almost immediately regrets asking it when she sees disappointment and hurt in his eyes. However, he almost immediately recovers and shoots her a smirk._

_"Well, I did serenade you on the first day of school. Not many men do that, especially to a total stranger. Even if you were a hot stranger." Her eyebrow lifts at this._

_"You think I'm hot?"_

_"Well yeah. The scary ear spike may be a deterrent for some men but I know how to look past that to see the mischievous and totally awesome personality you have. Oh, that and the fact that you're beautiful." She feels her face growing hot and tells herself that it's the alcohol causing her face to flush. He continues on, not noticing her reaction. "Besides, if you weren't hot, you wouldn't be my friend. The Uber Awesome Friendship Club of Jesse Swanson only admits hot people."_

_"The Uber Awesome Friendship Club really?" A snort escapes from her at that._

It felt good to have someone call her beautiful, even if he was pretty drunk. Compliments, especially those along the lines of gorgeous, hot, and sexy, always left her at a loss as to how to respond, unless they were accompanied by very obvious leers, which almost always results in her getting angry; but Beautiful? "Beautiful" was an entirely different compliment. "Beautiful" was a caliber above any and every single one of these. Sure stunning and breathtaking were pretty serious compliments but something about the word, "beautiful" and how it was simple yet meaningful, stood out for her. No compliment was greater than that word and Jesse had told her that plainly, without any preamble at all. It was nice and it made her like Jesse even more than she reluctantly did.

Not only that, in the fifteen minutes it took for sleep to overtake her, she realized that with Jesse's casual statement of them "having aca-children" as it was "inevitable", he had given her a promise that no other person had ever offered her. He had promised her his friendship (at least) for a very long time, possibly forever. He had promised to stay in her life.

That was the final push that made her decide that, yes, Jesse Swanson was her friend and that maybe this year in Barden University wasn't going to be so bad after all.

Bece Mitchel, despite the fact being sleep deprived and slightly hungover, had woken up with a smile at an ungodly hour because it was a good morning. After all, in thirty minutes, she gets to see her Jesse Swanson. Today, she gets to spend the whole day with a friend -her friend.

* * *

**JESSE, Three Days Before the Riff-off**

Jesse always started the day by greeting himself "Good Morning". It sounded like a pretty stupid thing to do but it was actually an effective method for "starting the day right". By telling himself "good morning", he started the day with a positive outlook, the mindset that that day was going to be a good day and that things were all going to work out perfectly.

This morning, however, he didn't even have to greet himself "good morning". He just knew. This morning was going to be an incredibly awesome morning because, today, he was going to surprise Beca with an impromptu picnic and movie session. Because, when you really think about it, no one doesn't not like movies.

He pretty much memorized Beca's schedule by now- coordinating shifts makes you familiar with other people's academic schedules- and he knew that she had 11:00-1:00 free. He also knew that she had this spot beside a tree where she'd mix her songs and do whatever.

So, in preparation for the impending awesomeness that was to happen in 3 hours, according to his watch, he quickly stuffed his supplies into his backpack, ticking off a mental checklist as he did so. Blanket? Check. Candle? Check. Cookies? Check. Juice Packs? Check. Awesome Movies? Check. And Laptop? Check.

He zipped up his backpack and hefted it one before making his way out the door. People passing by couldn't help but smile as they watched the man walk out of the door with a skip in his step, happily whistling a tune.

It was going to be an insanely good morning.

* * *

**BECA, The Day of the ICCA Finals**

"It's a good morning. No, a great morning. Because great mornings lead to great days and today is going to be an awesome day. At least I hope so. Unless we totally mess up our performance. Or Jesse doesn't get the gesture. Or even worse, totally realizes what a horrible, horrible person I am and refuse to ever forgive me or be my friend ever again. No stop it, Beca. It's a good morning that's going to lead to a good day…"

And so the mantra continued as she brushed her hair and quickly put on her outfit. They had to leave for Lincoln Center at 10 because they had been given the 10:30-11:00 time slot to rehearse before the show this afternoon. They had flown in from Louisiana yesterday and had booked hotel rooms for two nights for the ICCA Finals.

The Finals. She had never been so confident yet utterly terrified in her whole life. Not only did the fate of the Bellas and Aubrey's rep hang in the balance, the existence and further existence of her friendship with Jesse was going to be determined this afternoon. She soon found herself pacing around the hotel room with a brush in one hand and the pitch pipe in another. Oh, they were going to mess up and everything was going to be ruined. Who was she kidding? She couldn't hold the pitch pipe! And she definitely couldn't salvage her friendship with Jesse.

A buzzing sound breaks her out of her mini panic attack and she grabs her phone only to realize that –yikes!- it's 9:58. She quickly runs the brush through her hair one more time before grabbing her backpack and the Bella scarf sitting on the vanity. As she runs out of the hotel room and into the elevator she reminds herself once more, "It is a good morning. And good mornings lead to good days…."

* * *

**JESSE, Two Years After Graduation**

Jesse woke up to a ringing phone at 8 AM five days after the Sundance Festival. Half-annoyed at whoever it was that dared to disturb his slumber (cue deep booming voice), he groggily felt for his phone before answering it.

"Lo?" He said, voice still slightly slurred as he was not completely awake yet.

"Good morning. Is this Jesse Swanson, the composer for Orpheus? I'm Jeffrey Lane and I'm calling on behalf of Martin Scorcese." That definitely woke him up. He found himself shifting into a sitting position as he answered the man.

"Yes, this is Jesse Swanson. How may I help you Mr. Lane?"

"Mr. Scorcese attended the Sundance Festival and liked your work. He wants to know if you would be interested in writing the score for his adaptation of Robert Brown's "The Book and the Ring". I believe his exact words were, 'Frankly, this score is impressive. Find out who wrote it and get him for the movie.' So what do you say Mr. Swanson? Would you like to work with Scorcese?"

"Yes. I believe I'd like to very much." He was mindblown by the opportunity. Martin Scorcese. That man was a legend, a very talented filmmaker and to be able to work with him just seemed incredible and too good to be true. "Thank you Mr. Lane. Please tell Mr. Scorcese that I would be very honored to work with him."

"Alright then. I'll send you the details in two weeks and we'll schedule a meeting after that. Congratulations Mr. Swanson. Bye."

"Thanks." He ended the call with a smile was so big that he probably rivaled the Chesire cat at the moment. Martin Scorcese. Wow.

This was a good morning. No, this was the awesomest morning ever.

* * *

**BECA, On The Day of Her Wedding**

Beca grumbles as her sleep is disturbed by her vibrating phone. She tries to swat the phone away but, seeing as it is on her bed, it continues to pester her until she finally gives in and answers the phone.

"You better have a good reason for waking me up at-" She peeks at the clock on her bedside. "eight thirty in the morning when I only got home at four am today or so help me I will make sure you regret ever being conceived."

"Now really, honeypoo, is that anyway to greet your husband-to-be in about five and a half hours?" She hears Jesse chuckle over the line, his voice condescendingly chiding.

"You won't be my husband-to-be if you continue to insist on calling me all those stupid pet names. And sorry, I'm just a little cranky and sleep deprived."

"It's okay. We all know how you're not a morning person, although I fully intend to reform you once we're married. Well, not completely reform. Just get you out of bed by 9." A smile makes its appearance the moment she hears the phrase "once we're married". She can't help but be excited about it. She shakes away the images of the afternoon's ceremony and attempts to focus on what Jesse's saying. "Actually, scratch that, I aim to have you be awake by 9 the latest although I give no promises as to whether or not you're gonna be out of the bed by then."

"I believe 'or not' has a bigger probability of actually being the reality," she answers laughingly.

"Well, I can totally live with that. Now," he says, his mood more sober now. "I know for a fact that Chloe and Amy are planning to whisk you off to get pampered in forty five minutes so you better wake up, get dressed and eat your breakfast, which, I might add, you will find waiting for you on your kitchen counter."

"Thank you Jesse. You're really way too good for me." Her heart melts at his thoughtfulness. Even on their wedding day, of which the main event is basically plain proof of his love, he still found the time to do something incredibly sweet to her. "What did you get me?"

"What do you think? Coffee-because we all know how much you depend on it-, a choc chip cookie muffin and a juice pack – yes it's grape flavored- because I couldn't resist and also because I'm pretty sure they have some sort of AV presentation later and we do need proper snacks to watch a movie, even if it's our movie."

"Jesse, has anyone ever told you of how much of a dork you are?"

"Everyday. My soon to be wife reminds me of that fact everyday."

"Well she won't anymore." She hears him exaggeratedly sigh in relief.

"Finally! I'm free from her cruel verbal abuse!"

"Oh, I wouldn't count on that." She chuckles then, sensing his confusion. "Because your wife will never ever let you forget that fact. However, said wife would like to add that it's what made her fall in love with you. So yeah."

"Love you too, Becs. Now go before Amy unleashes the kraken on me."

"Bye, Jesse. And thank you really!"

"Always." His voice is soft, tender as he says this and she hears him move to hang up the phone.

"Wait! Jesse? Are you still there?"

"Yeah? What is it Beca?" She bites her lip and tries to ignore the blush that's creeping up her face. She's shy, hesitant even, as she answers him.

"I can't wait for later. Love you."

"Me too." And she hangs up the phone to go and enjoy what the morning and the day have in store for her.

It's a good morning and it's gonna be an even better day.

* * *

**JESSE, On a Not so Ordinary Tuesday Morning**

Jesse stares at the small package in his hand, a brow furrowed in confusion. He knows that today is just an ordinary Tuesday morning, no anniversaries or birthdays today; so why is there a small gift for him?

He sighs to himself. Well, there's no other way to find out the reason for the gift other than to open it. After all, the gift itself would explain its significance. At least he hopes so. He tugs on the string that ties it together and watches it unravel. The wrapper comes next and soon he's staring at a simple red box. He lifts the box's cover and is even more confused when he finds a...white stick?

His fingers close around it and he lifts it up out of the box to take a closer look. That's when he notices the tiny pink plus sign and his heart just stops breathing. Is that-? Is Beca-? Is he-? OMG, are they going to-?

"Coffee?" He is startled from his swirling thoughts by that one word and he turns to face Beca, well, Beca's hand and the coffee mug in it. She refuses to look at him and he can tell by her shaking hands that she's nervous- no, absolutely terrified- but then so is he. A surge of joy courses through him as it finally hits him. He's going to be a dad. They were going to have a mini-him or Beca running around soon. All this goes through his head in the span of a few seconds and suddenly all he wants to do is hug Beca and kiss her because, wow, she was going to be a mom and they were going to have a kid and just…

He takes both mugs from her and sets them on his bedside table and proceeds to hug her as fiercely as he could, the joy still running through him and filling him and 0h, he's just so happy. He kisses her then, not just content with a hug. As he kisses her, his mind goes back to that night when he told her that this was going to happen. He was right. It was inevitable.

He pulls back and decides to not even attempt smirking as the smile won't go away. He looks at her, pride in his eyes and simply says,

"Told you so." She answers him by pulling him in for another kiss before slightly pulling back and resting her forehead against his.

"Good morning Daddy." If it is even possible, his smile grows bigger at this.

"Good morning to you too Mommy." He leans down and presses his face against her flat stomach. "And good morning to you, little one."


	2. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most times, the unspoken "til we meet again" is tacked on after a goodbye. Sometimes, though, a goodbye simply means "Goodbye"

**BECA, the day everything changed**

She was 8 and she wasn't supposed to grow up. Well, at least not for a few more years, that is; but life has a way of yanking the rug out from under you and mixing up what's the norm and what's not.

She's 8 yet she's grown up.

She wasn't supposed to be home this early. Harmonies, the junior glee club the elementary school she goes to has, ended practice an hour early since their teacher had a sudden emergency. This was how she found herself home an hour before she was expected.

Earlier, during Arts class, she had successfully managed to make a paper machete heart for her parent's anniversary -which was on this day, actually- and couldn't wait to show it to her parents before they left for their usual date.

As she let herself into the house with the spare key she knew Mommy had hidden under a loose floorboard on their porch, she heard voices- a man and a woman's to be more specific- coming from her parent's bedroom upstairs and, with an excited squeal, rushed up the stairs to their room.

With all the innocence of an eight year old, she burst into their room, happily waving the heart.

"Dad! Mom! Look what I made for your-" She quickly trailed off as soon as her mind registered what was going on in front of her. Her dad was naked and there was a naked woman beside him on the bed. Only, it wasn't her mom.

"Oh my- Beca! This isn't what it looks like!" He quickly got out of the bed and grabbed the robe draped on a nearby chair. "Why don't you go down to the kitchen first and I'll catch up. Then we'll have a little talk, okay?"

"WHO ARE YOU? WHY ARE YOU WITH DADDY? WHERE'S MOMMY?" Beca hysterically cried, terrified and confused. She didn't hear her dad pleading for her to go down. She didn't even notice him tugging on her arm. She just stared, transfixed at this woman, this stranger, that was on her parents' bed.

Suddenly, it was all too clear to her. Her friend, Jay, had been talking about how his parents had split up because his mama had a boyfriend. He called it "cheating on his papa". Beca couldn't understand why it was called cheating because Jay's papa, mama and the boyfriend didn't have a test. And if there was no test then his mama and her boyfriend wouldn't have any answers to cheat for. But, seeing the naked woman with her dad, she knew that this was the same situation. Her dad was "cheating on her mom".

Without a warning, she rushed to her room and locked the door. She grabbed the phone, dialing in the number that Mom said was "only for emergencies". She figured that Daddy having another woman in the house counted as an emergency. It was with tears streaking down her face that she waited for her mom to pick up. Soon, a familiar comforting voice was heard on the other end of the line.

"Beca, sweetie, is that you? What's wrong? Why are you home this early?" That was when the sobs came in full force and she had to force the words to come out of her mouth. In her agitated state, some of the things came out jumbled.

"Mrs. Cruz had an emergency. I came home early. I heard Daddy's voice in your bedroom and I had a surprise for you two so I ran in to show him. Only he wasn't with you. The woman's voice I heard was not you. There was a naked woman. I didn't know her and she was on your side of the bed. Why is she here? Is Daddy cheating on you like Jay's mama did to his papa?" A long silence followed that question and Beca suddenly grew more scared than she was when she saw the confusing scene in the other bedroom. She managed to whisper, slowly, tentatively. "Mommy? Are you mad at me?"

A few seconds of silence greeted her before her mom finally answered, a hitch in her voice that was so soft, softer than Beca had ever heard it before.

"No, baby girl. I'm not mad at you. Are you in you room?"

"Yes," she whispered again while nodding her head.

"Alright. Just stay in there okay and don't come out until I tell you to. Mommy's already going to her car. I'll be there in fifteen minutes, okay baby?"

"Okay, Mommy." She sniffled and reached for the stuffed elephant on her bed.

"You did good, baby. Bye." She heard the phone go dead before she could even reply and she buried her face into Ellie, her elephant.

True to her word, her mom did arrive home in fifteen minutes, just in time to catch Sheila – Beca later found out that that was her name- attempting to subtly escape from the house. Through her bedroom window, she watched her mom slap the woman, hard, before dragging her back into the house. Then she heard shouting, lots and lots of shouting and a lot of crying too. She grabbed the discman her mom had passed onto her last year and popped in the earphones, making sure to crank up the volume so that she wouldn't hear what was going on downstairs. The music slowly lulled her to sleep.

The next thing she was aware of was her mommy shaking her awake, telling her that it was all over now.

"Where's Daddy? Is the naked woman gone?" She saw her mom stiffen and a hard look settled on her face.

"Gone. They're both gone." Beca scrunched up her face in confusion. Why was her dad gone too? Shouldn't it just be the naked woman who left? What about the anniversary dinner tonight?  
"Why's Daddy gone? He's taking you out for dinner, remember? It's you anniversary." To her horror, she saw mom's lips quiver before tears started streaking down her face. She quickly hugged her mom as tightly as she could.

"What's wrong, Mommy? Don't cry. Please don't cry. I thought everything was okay again?" Her mom buried her face into Beca's hair and she almost didn't catch what her mom said.

"I'm so sorry, baby but Daddy's gone. He's not coming back anymore." Then, it was her turn to cry too.

"Why? What do you mean he's gone?" She tried to understand it but she just couldn't. It didn't make sense. Her daddy told her that it was Daddy, Mommy and Beca. Together forever. Now he was gone and it was just Mommy and Beca.

As she found herself succumbing to the sobs and tears, she only had one last thought and she softly voiced it out.

"He didn't even say goodbye."

**JESSE, First day in Barden University**

Being the Momma's boy that he, unfortunately, was, his mother insisted that she and his father take him to Barden to help him move the stuff. After all, he would need a hand hauling in all his junk ("Movies, Mom. They're my precious movie collection") and whatnot. That, and because she couldn't quite believe that her youngest, her baby boy was already going to college. So this trip they were taking together was a way for him to spend some time with his parents and allow them to slowly let him go.

And actually, he was totally fine with that. He was going to miss them so much. He already missed his Lexi, his big sis and Chase and Caleb, his brothers along with his two nephews and one niece. Man, he was going to end up being homesick.

Shaking his head to dispel the gloomy thoughts, he focused on the music that was playing on the radio. His dad had commandeered the radio and had immediately plugged in his iPod, putting on his Classic Rock playlist. In the course of the trip, they had gone through his dad's favorite songs from Journey, The Police, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Megadeth, Scorpion, and even Pearl Jam and they had progressed onto Kansas now.

Just listening to the songs gave him a pang of sadness. He had fond memories of lazy summer nights and afternoons spent listening to the songs while they worked on the "home improvement" projects his mom had tasked them to. His dad would talk about the bands and give specific tidbits about them. Jesse had learned about the value of the bassist and the drummer and how the instruments they played formed the skeleton of the band. He learned to appreciate the initially annoyingly long drum solo from Led Zeppelin's Moby Dick and how to sing along crazily to Journey's Separate Ways.

He was drawn out of his reminiscing when his mom suddenly nudged him back to awareness. He followed her finger to the gates in front and saw the school he was going to spend the next four years in. Trying to quell the sudden nervousness he had, he turned his attention back to the music playing in the car and a smile crossed his face. He'd always loved Kansas' Carry On My Wayward Son- and he'd love it even more years down the line, once he realized just how apt it was for THAT moment. So he started singing along, not caring if it sounded crazy.

Then he saw her. Well, he saw the ear spike and thought,  _Whoa. That's some scary looking chick_. Then he really looked at her and kept looking. She was tiny but she didn't look like one of those wimpy kind of girls. Scary ear spike, remember? And there was that sparkle in her eye as she "listened" to the a BU rep explain something to her. Without even thinking about it, he just started serenading her with his awesome guitar solo.

His head hit the seat as his dad accelerated and he lost sight of her. He mentally bade her goodbye but somehow he knew that it wasn't going to stay that way for long. One way or another, he was gonna hunt down that girl with the scary ear spike and get to know her. Little did he know that that was going to happen soon enough.

**BECA, A week after the riff-off**

They were bantering as usual. Actually, more like Jesse was yammering on about something and she was pretending to be interested in what he was saying. At least that's what she told herself. Truth was, after aca-initiation night, she had secretly started paying more attention to him. The impromptu picnic made him rise even more on her esteem as the guy did, after all, really make an effort to get to know her outside the radio station.

Which was why, even though she was pretending to be bored as she stacked CDs, she was actually listening amusedly to him vainly trying to convince her to watch a movie.

"Okay, so no heavy stuff. Although, that is a really great loss since the heavier movies usually have better scores." She shot him a blank look, not giving him the satisfaction of a real reaction. "Oh, how about Nicholas Sparks movies. All the girls dig Nicholas Sparks movie. We could start on "A Walk to Remember". Switchfoot is a pretty cool band."

She arched an eyebrow at him. Does he really think she's into that girly romance stuff?

"Seriously? Do I look like someone who watches Chick Flicks? Besides, the book captures their 'relationship" She gives a little eye roll at this. "A too-good-to-be-true one, at that, way way better than the movie. And it's not even set in the real time period. At least that's what I got before I fell asleep, when our Lit teacher made us watch it for class one day."

"You fell asleep? Really?" He looks flabbergasted and horrified at this. "Most girls I know, including my sister, are riveted to the screen when that movie starts showing and the only time they're not staring at it is when they're busy wiping at their tears."

"Yeah, well it's predictable." And that's that. At least that what she thinks as she turns her attention back to the CDs, sorting through and grabbing all the ones that started with "J".

"Wait, let's backtrack for a second. I must have heard wrong because, as I was playing our conversation in my head, I recalled you saying something about the book. Did you read "A Walk to Remember"? Did Beca Mitchell, self-proclaimed non-girly rebel, read a Nicholas Sparks book?" She tried to stop the blush that was slowly creeping its way up to her cheeks. She knew she shouldn't have said that. She quickly shifted onto her defensive mode, unconsciously crossing her arms across her chest.

"I did it to spite my dad, okay? He was trying to get me to read those classics like The Iliad and War and Peace and I was like, 'Dude, no. There is no way I was going to read those.' So I decided to read a book that I knew he would hate. I was considering reading Twilight but even I can't stoop down that low. I do have standards. So I settled on this." She shuddered at the thought of reading Twilight before going back to her defensive "pose". "And, for your information, I actually like books. I mean, I did read the whole Lord of the Rings set, including the Hobbit and Silmarillion, as well as all 7 Narnia books you know?"

She watched with satisfaction as he stood there, shocked. Then she remembered that she had CDs to sort through and that there were only a few minutes left until the end of the shift.

"Wow," he finally manages to get out. She smirks at how off-balanced he still sounded. "I seriously did not peg you as that type of girl."

"Yes. Because stereotypical angsty-looking rebel girls don't read those types of books right. In fact most probably don't read at all and just listen to loud and angry music. In fact, if ever they read, they would probably read-"

"Vampire novels," he finished, a small but sheepish smile on his face. "I'm sorry, O Wonderfully Interesting Enigma. I have learned my lesson and shall never stereotype again."

"Great!" She rolls her eyes again, sarcasm dripping from her voice. "That statement just made my day. Seriously though, call me wonderful whatever enigma again and I won't speak to you anymore."

"It's 'O Wonderfully Interesting Enigma' and noted. I shall avoid that title in the future. Although, I really did think you'd be flattered with it." He gave her his most charming grin and it took all her strength not to smile back. It rattled her, how he could affect like that. Then suddenly, an idea crossed her mind. It was perfect. An honest confession that would leave him speechless and stop making her feel like he had the upper hand.

"Oh, by the way. Fantasy novels aren't the dirtiest reading secrets I have. I actually have a more scandalous one." He shoots her a wary glance. Trying to evaluate whether or not she was telling the truth. But she was and she let him see that and he took the bait: hook, line and sinker.

"What is it then? Come on, out with it. It's almost end of shift and I know you have Bellas rehearsal after this."

"Well, as a matter of fact, I am a closet comic geek. I really love Rogue and I'm pretty sure I have a girl crush on her. That and I have the whole X-men Legacy collection under my bed in my dorm room." She let a giggle escape at how flabbergasted he looked and watched with pride as his mouth moved while no sound came out. Glancing at her watch, she noted that, just as she predicted, their shift was over. Placing the last two CDs in their proper shelves, she quickly grabs her bag before noting that he was still speechless. "Oh, look. Shift's over. I'm gonna go to the audi now. Goodbye, Jesse!"

She hurried out of the station before dissolving into laughter. That was fun.

**JESSE, Regionals**

_I don't need your help. You're not my boyfriend. You're not my boyfriend. You're not-"_

He curls his hands into fists, feeling his nails digging into his palm. He tells himself to stop thinking about those words. To ignore those four words that felt like the end of the world to him. In front he hears the tiniest of sniffles, barely there and, suddenly, all he wants to do is to reach out and hug her. He knows how much LA means to Beca and how crushed she probably was at-

No. He's not gonna start thinking about her again. Didn't she make it clear enough? She doesn't need him, doesn't need his help. And she definitely doesn't like him the way he likes her. He was such a fool to think that maybe she would like him back. He is still a fool for allowing that almost-kiss to fuel his imagination of a future with her, of them.

Well, that's all it's gonna be now: imagination. Because after the stunt he pulled, they were done.

He tries and marginally succeeds at crying at that thought because it hurts. It feels like everything he's worked for, everything he's dreamed about suddenly exploded and vanished into oblivion. He feels…the way she probably feels right now and, instantly, guilt settles in him like a rock.

He knows. He's known for a while actually, that she's more fond of her mom than her dad. Way more fond of her mom and even then, she's not as warm and cuddly as other girls are with their mothers. So it's saying a lot, how much she dislikes her father. And he overheard the tail end of one of their conversations once. He heard the coolness in her tone and the well-concealed anger and hurt that was still there. And yet he still called him. He had still called up her dad to ask him to bail her out.

He could have tried explaining to the precinct, what had really happened. And he's pretty sure that Chloe would have had his back and, maybe Donald even. Between them and probably Fat Amy, they could have been able to convince the precinct to drop the charges and to put the rightful blame on those Tonehangers.

But he didn't. And now, she's crushed at her dream becoming even less possible and pissed off at him. He opens his mouth to apologize, to try to explain himself and he quickly shuts it again. Her dad is in the car, which screams "Not the right time!" and he decides to do it tomorrow instead. After all, they have the same shift together. And it is with that hope that he soon forgets –temporarily- her words.

Pretty soon, they're nearing her dorm, which is right beside hers and the next thing he knows, she's unbuckling the seatbelt and wordlessly making his way out of the car. He makes to leave too but is stopped by a hand on his arm.

"Jesse. Thank you for calling me." And that makes the guilt come crashing down and he decides that he's gonna apologize right now. He nods stiffly and dashes after Beca.

"Becs, wait! I need to talk to you! I'm-" Her next words cut him off and he feels like he's back by the steps of the precinct again.

"Goodbye, Jesse." Goodbye. Not goodnight. And definitely not, see you tomorrow. Just goodbye. The finality is there, in her voice and he knows, he just knows that they won't go back to movication nights. He won't have a recipient for his juice pouches anymore and he definitely wouldn't have a friend named Beca Mitchell to brighten his day.

It takes a lot of strength – and several gulps of air to choke down the lump in his throat- for him to answer back.

"Goodbye, Beca." It's not very loud but it's loud enough to carry through the quiet night air. By then, she's already halfway inside the dorm.

**BECA, spring break**

Beca's never been fond of goodbyes but it's the one thing that she can't count on hearing and saying in her life. After all, when, in the span of ten years, you've been to at least twelve different places, "see you soon" seemed like a forgotten, meaningless phrase.

This time, though, it's much much harder to say goodbye. Somehow, to her very great surprise, the Bellas had wormed their way to her heart and storming off without even saying goodbye to them pained her.

It shocked her, then, when, two days later, she found Amy, Lilly and Chloe at her door, armed with chocolates as a peace offering. Amy and Chloe apologized for not defending her and Lilly said something she couldn't hear. It made her feel really bad as it was actually her fault but she ignored that gut feeling and told them that it wasn't their fault so they didn't have to apologize. Then Chloe started in on how Aubrey was probably sorry too but Beca cut her off with a look and they spent the first ten minutes of the visit in awkward silence. After Amy cracked one of her winning jokes, though, they spend the rest of their time swapping stories. That was until they started talking about boys. Chloe had started mentioning Jason, her boyfriend of 3 years (the dude she met at the showers) and talking about this awesome date he planned for her which led to Lilly fessing up that she secretly liked Donald, which pretty much shocked everyone. Once they had gotten over it, Amy revealed, to none of their surprise, that she and Bumper were secretly dating before launching into details about their relationship that were frankly, TMI. Then Chloe had to suddenly mention Jesse and that was when the visit had ended.

They visited a couple more times after that, bringing Cynthia Rose and Stacie with them and they all studiously avoided talking about him during those times. And she also hung out with them once in this ice cream parlor where they had a competition to see who could make the weirdest but yummiest ice cream and toppings combination. Lilly had won with her choco-mocha ice cream mix that had Doritos and Cheetos as toppings. It was really good and they ended up making another one of it since they all finished it off in ten minutes.

That was last night. The night before they all left for Spring Break. It went unspoken that the Bellas would probably see each other off, which meant that there was absolutely no way she was gonna be there. So, they thoughtfully organized this get together and it made her feel even worse for leaving them since they were all being so nice to her.

As the night grew closer to its end, she couldn't help but feel this overwhelming sense of loneliness, this huge gaping hole of nothingness that wanted to consume her. They were all talking about Spring Break and how they were going to go home to their families and how it was going to be awesome. Even Amy, who couldn't go home to Australia, was going on a little road trip of "sheer awesomeness" with Bumper.

And then it came time to say goodbye and it took all her willpower not to beg them to stay, to not leave her alone. She faked a smile through the entire thing and as soon as she lost sight of them she allowed her pessimistic thoughts and feelings out with full force. She walked as fast as she could to her dorm, knowing that a new mix would be just the thing to get this out of her mind. She was almost to her dorm when she heard raucous laughter echoing by the dorm near hers. Her heart almost skipped a beat when she saw the source of the laughter. There, sitting on the doorsteps were four of the Treblemakers. Benji, Donald, Unicycle and Jesse to be exact.

That's when it hit her. She wouldn't be able to say goodbye to Jesse because she already all those weeks ago at Regionals and again during the Semi-finals. It was at this point that she figured out that she really really wanted to be able to say goodbye to him. To be sarcastically depressed- if there was such a thing- and to hear what melodramatic goodbye he had in store for her.

Without meaning to, she suddenly heard herself say, "Goodbye Jesse. Enjoy Spring Break."

She clamped her hand over her mouth and glanced the Treblemakers before sighing in relief at their continued ignorance. Then her eyes landed on Jesse, who was the closest to her, and she saw that he was looking at her with an indecipherable look on his face. Oh no. He had heard her and probably thought she was an idiot.

Cheeks hot, she ran quickly to her dorm, not pausing until she found herself inside her room. She buried her face in her pillow before letting out a sob-scream. What a fool she was for saying goodbye then. For saying goodbye now.

**BECA, post-spring break**

She was still in a daze, her expression stoic, as she walked out of his dorm and back to hers. It was only when she got back to her room and saw the DVD covers staring back at her that it sank in. He was done.

She had told him goodbye. Thrice. Which meant that it shouldn't have hurt when he answered her back. But it did. It hurt that he gave up on her, told her goodbye. It hurt so much that he didn't even say it out loud. He just closed the door on her face. It hurt that Jesse, who would never shut up, refused to take the time to talk about it with her. It hurt that he read all her text messages, heard all her voice mail and just ignored them. It hurt that she didn't see any of the just-for-Beca Jesse expressions, whether it be that undefined look in his eyes or the hint of fondness, even in a forced smile, that he wore on his face just for her.

Her three goodbyes were said under a lot of stress, under duress, under anger and frustration and, despite the finality that she thought they had, she knew that they weren't final final. They were simply illusions of finality. But his. His wordless one was final. It rang loud and clear in the end. He bade her goodbye and he was going to do it again. Not because he had not intention of letting her go but because he had every intention of doing so, actually no, because he did so. He let her go and he was never welcoming her back.

For the second time in her life since she turned 13, she cried. She mourned for the friendship that she had lost. She mourned for the hope that flew away. She mourned for the happily ever after that she hadn't valued enough and so had slipped away. She mourned for the man whose eyes would never light up just for again, whose lips wouldn't curl up at the sight of her or the mere thought of her, and whose heart wouldn't ever have room enough for her.

She was right all those months ago, on the morning of the Aca-Initiation Party, before Jesse changed her view on things. Friendship, relationships were fickle, they were all temporary. There was no such thing as a forever friendship, a bond that was unbreakable. There just wasn't. And trust, trust was a stupid thing. When you trusted, you let someone in and once you get comfortable sharing that house with that person, they'd just suddenly up and leave. You walked back into that little house that was your heart and find that the only belongings left there were yours. And the only sounds of that person that you'd hear were the echoes. Of laughter. Of words of comfort, love, certainty and hope. But never the real thing, because the real thing was gone.

He was gone.

And so, she did what he did to her. She said goodbye. She let go of trust, of friendship, of hope and of love. She pushed them out of the room in her heart and she slammed her door shut.

**JESSE, Graduation day**

Exhilaration and joy thrum in him as he feels the paper curled inside his hand, as he hears the cheers that thunder, as he smells the nauseating mix of flowers and perfume, as he sees the dark green hats fly and as he tastes the victory that he knows was the product of his work and effort.

He allows himself the swell of pride that been pushing in his chest since the start of the ceremony. He knows that he ended senior year and his college life excellently. Okay, so maybe not quite that excellent. The Treblemakers had, after all, lost to Bellas again in the ICCAs. But, they did win Junior year and they had won the regionals and semifinals this year. That had to count for something right? Right?

Oh well, at least they had managed to end this season with a bang. It just so happens that Bella Captain aka his best friend, normally, and his archnemesis, during competitions, had orchestrated an even bigger bang than theirs. He stops his thoughts right there, chiding himself for dwelling on that when he there was so much more he could dwell on. Like how he managed to get only a couple of B+ while the rest of his grades were A- or A. He even had a few A +. Not only that, he had really awesome friends. But most importantly, he found where he belonged.

Sadness swirled in to mix with the joy and pride as he reached that point of his ruminations. Sure, he had made new friends and formed incredible bonds in the span of four years but, after today, what was he to have of them? Memories? The ghost of her smile? His awkward laugh? The sound of him snoring and mumbling yoda lines in his sleep? Was that all to be left of four amazing years worth of experiences?

"Why the long face, dork? It's our graduation. You should be happy. If not happy, then relieved at having survived four years of hell and many shameful defeats." His smile came back as he turned around to face the source of those words.

"Haha. Yes. You are the reigning queen of campus, O Aca-highness." Her laughter bubbles out and suddenly he feels a pang of regret and he can't help but wonder. What if they had stayed together? How would they be acting at this moment?

"Let it go, Jesse. You know we had to. And it did help didn't it?" He startles, not from her interruption, but from how accurately she guessed his thoughts.

"How?" He manages to mumble out. She laughs again.

"You have this wistful look on your face but your eyes are directed to my hand, to the bracelet you gave me.

"Oh, you're good. In fact, I think I've met the next Sherlock Holmes." He feigns excitement at his "discovery". She shoots him a wide smile, triumph gleaming in her eyes and he can't help but smile back.

"You're making movie references again. Good. Never thought I'd have to be the one to make you smile. Usually, it's the other way around." He smiles turns sheepish at that but there's also a hint of pride there because he knows that four years ago, she wouldn't have bothered with it. He knows that he's responsible for that change and he can't help but feel satistfied and fulfilled with the knowledge that he had been able to play a part in changing someone's life. Oh, he's being dramatic again but in a good way. He silently chuckles at that.

"Jesse? Earth to Jesse?" He blinks back to focus on her. "I lost you there for a sec. Now that I have your attention, will you tell me what had been bothering you or do I have to threaten you for you to 'fess up?"

"Whoa there, Million Dollar Baby. I want my face intact for the celebratory family dinner later. I choose option A." She holds up her hand, motioning for him to stop speaking and he complies, confused. Her hand closes around his wrist and she drags him away from the crowd towards their tree. He smiles then, glad that she chose to do this here since it makes it all the more bittersweet and appropriate. He glances at her and sees her looking at him expectantly, so he gathers his thoughts and plunges in. "I miss everyone. I know they're all still here and you're still here; but I'm already starting to miss you. Everyone's going to be moving to different places now and it will be hard to keep in touch with everyone. And everything's going to be different. We won't see each other everyday. We might even be able to meet up for years and we'll be reduced to text messages, voice mails, emails, phone calls or Skype. And it just really really sucks."

She hugs him then and he feels her chuckle more than he hears it.

"Oh, Jesse. Of course it won't be the same but at least we'll have those. Besides, Twitter means we can share every single detail of our lives out there in the Internet. While it sucks that we can't get to witness everything live, we'll still all be a part of each other's lives. Besides, you're not getting rid of me that easily. New York and LA are really far away from each other but if we survived summer breaks and still managed to stay best friends then I'm sure we'll manage just fine now. Besides, one day, you're gonna end up in LA and if we're both not married by then, I'll maybe consider having you as my "flatshare"." She gives him a crooked grin and he feels himself relax. She's right, they can manage and they will. Everything's fine and it's gonna stay that way.

He notices someone waving at the corner of his eye and he turns to see Beca's mom motioning for her. He turns back to Beca and sees her giving her mom the "just a sec" look. Wordlessly, he stands up and offers his hand to her. She accepts and lets him help her stand up before she crushes him in another hug.

"I expect to hear from you, nerd." He hears where murmur near his ear.

"Don't you forget about me, Beca Mitchell," he answers back and he knows, he just knows that a smile is on her face.

"Never, you dork." She places a feather light kiss on his cheek and then her warmth is gone. "Goodbye, Jesse."

"Bye, Becs." He holds his hand up in a wave, a smile on his face, before whispering once more, "Goodbye, Beca Mitchell."

Unbeknownst to both of them, this goodbye, like all their others, was a final one of sorts. They wouldn't see or hear from each other again for another four years.

**JESSE, many many years later**

He enters the hospital room with a bright smile on his face. Waking up alone this morning had pretty much sucked for him and he is more than ready to see her again.

"Hey Hillary Swank from Million Dollar Baby!" He watches with satisfaction as a huge smile graces her face. He studies her for a few seconds and can't help but be struck by how beautiful she is. Yes, her face has wrinkles now and her hair isn't that auburn-brown mix anymore but she's still Beca and she's still beautiful.

"I keep telling you, you can just say 'Hey, Million Dollar Baby'. There's no need to reference the specific actress." Her voice is softer, weaker now and he doesn't miss the fact that she looks as if it takes more effort to breathe now. He feels his heart drop at that and he knows that he's not going to have long with her and that one of these days, he'd have to say goodbye again. And he hates saying goodbye. They have had enough goodbyes said between them to last a lifetime. He has no desire to add to it. He feels a hand slip into his and he's startled to find that he's on her bedside now.

"Hey, weirdo. You okay? You kinda blanked out on me there for a sec." He can't help but laugh at that. Even at 90 she still talked like the Beca he knew in college. "What? Why are you laughing?"

"It's just that you sound like you. As in, I hate movies and I have an ear spike you." She laughs when he says that before sobering a bit. "It's a good day then?"

"Yeah, it's a really good day." His smile wavers as he answers. Their situation sucks like that. She's here on a hospital bed waiting for her last moment, has been for the past two weeks. So time is precious for them, absolutely precious. But he has Alzheimer's. He's lucky that he's been coherent, cohesive, him for this long today actually, that he can visit her and they can spend their limited time together this afternoon. He shakes himself out of his thoughts at that, resolved to make every minute of their visit about her. "How about you? How are you? Is it a good day for you too?"

"Yeah. As a matter of fact it is." He doesn't miss the wince as she speaks or the gasp of breath that follows as she tries to sit up and fails.

"Becs. You know you can't lie to me right?" He helps her sit up before cupping her chin and forcing her to look at him. "How are you really?"

"There have been better days but today is really a good day for me. Any good day of yours is a good day of mine." She gives him that smile, the one that reminds him just how much she loves him and just how blessed he is to have her and he savors it and lets it wrap around him in a cocoon of warmth. "So tell me about your day so far."

And so they talk. He talks about his morning and she talks about hers. She tells him about how their kids popped in for a visit yesterday and that some of the grandkids also came around a few days ago. She talks about their greatgrandchildren and how adorable Connor, the youngest, is at three months. She talks and he listens taking them all in because he knows that he'll forget, he'll soon forget as he did when they initially came to visit. He also takes the time to focus on different aspects of her. He listens to her voice and remembers the first time he heard her rap. He relishes the feel of her hand and remembers what it felt like to brush up against her that first time. Then his gaze lands on her face and he knows. He just knows. He saw it when he entered the room but he couldn't put his finger on it. He noticed it again several times as they talked but he still couldn't quite place the nagging feeling. But he knows now and he feels the first tear roll down his cheek. Soon, more are coming and he can't stop and he murmurs, "no" again and again. He vaguely registers her trying to comfort him, trying to shush him and soothe him but he dismisses them as he struggles with the overwhelming emotions, with the truth that he wants to deny. It isn't until he feels her hands grasp his face and her lips meet his that he stills. She pulls away slowly and that's when he realizes that the tears he tasted weren't just his, but hers as well.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Jesse. But you know that it's going to happen whether we like it or not." She gives him a smile, a smile so devastatingly sad that it breaks his heart and he loses his resolve. He gently shifts her to one side of the bed so he can climb onto it too. It's harder to do it now that's he's old and gray but he does it anyway. He soon finds his head resting on her chest as her hands run through his hair that was now snowy white.

"Sing to me. Sing to me like I did to you that night," he murmurs and he's afraid for a minute that she doesn't hear it when he suddenly hears the familiar words, the familiar melody pouring out of her. He soaks it all in, the words, the tune but most importantly, her voice and he just cherishes it and wraps it lovingly before storing it in his mind to hold onto forever.

 

" _Won't you come see about me?_

_I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby_

_Tell me your troubles and doubts_

_Giving me everything inside and out_

_Love's strange so real in the dark_

_Think of the tender things that we're working on_

_Slow change may pull us apart_

_When the light gets into your heart, baby_

_Don't you forget about me_

 

_Don't, don't, don't, don't_

_Don't you forget about me"_

He hears her voice going softer and he knows that it's not going to be long now. He's distracted from that thought when he notices that she skipped a part. His brow furrows in confusion. Beca knows the song inside and out; she'd never skip a part.

 

_"Will you recognize me?_

_Call my name or walk on by_

_Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling_

_Down, down, down, down_

_As you walk on by_

_Will you call my name?_

_As you walk on by_

_Will you call my name?_

_When you walk away_

_Or will you walk away?_

_Will you walk on by?_

_Come on, call my name_

_Will you call my name?"_

Then it hits him. She knows too that she doesn't have long so she's choosing the lyrics that mean a little something more to them. She's taking the song and making it hers, theirs and it makes him smile just a bit more.

"That's my girl," he says softly and he knows she hears it because, if possible, she puts more strength into the next part as the slowly pumps her fist up in the air.

 

  
_"_ _I say, la la la la la la la la la la la la la_

_Don't you forget about me_

_Don't, don't, don't, don't_

  
_Don't you forget about me_ …"

Her voice trails off there and the hand playing with this hair stills. He knows even before he gets up that she won't ever be able to sing for him anymore. He shifts so that he can see her more clearly, take her in. A smile graces her face and her eyes are close and she looks so much like that sleeping Beca from that night he sang to her that his chest clenches painfully. Then he remembers. He remembers the last words she said to him and as he brushes a kiss on her eyes he raises a fist in the air and whispers,

"I promise." And he knows that he'll keep it. That Alzheimer's won't stop him from remembering, because she's Beca. She's unforgettable. For the last time, he looks at her and utters only one word.

"Goodbye."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * The last part was, in part inspired by the Notebook.  
> * Some apologies  
> \- To people who found it too melodramatic, sorry.  
> \- To people who were offended by the Twilight thing, I'm very sorry about that. Beca's very vocal about it. That and you probably also dislike some of the things I like too so, I give you leave to bash my comic geekness. :))  
> \- To people who got offended with A Walk to Remember, let it be known that I treat the movie and book as separate entities because they're both different and I love them both. (I just really wish that the movie was able to show some of the more special moments from the book).


End file.
